Gap Chasm Dream

Last night I dreamed I was in a wheelchair and a man offered to help by pushing it for me. But I told him it was okay because I really didn't need the wheelchair, I just used it to help carry my "stuff". Then I go up out of the chair to show him, and he left.

I got back in the chair and continued wheeling toward a lake that I intended to go scuba diving in (I was just returning after retrieving a scuba mask and a towel so I could do so). Suddenly there was a drop-off and I jump out of the chair just before the chair itself went over the edge. I could see the chair had fallen about twenty feet into a chasm that was about fifteen feet wide with dirt walls. I knew I had to cross the chasm to get to the lake, so I found a spot that I was somehow familiar with and started to climb down.

But, I lost my footing and started to fall. Instead of panicking though I pushed away from the wall just enough so I could see the vines and grab them to slow my fall. Thus I reached the bottom safely. When I went to retrieve the chair though it was gone! Now I panicked. I thought, how could it be gone? It was only out of my sight for a moment and there was no one else around. Or was there?

I suddenly remembered that a wise friend had told me that Gremlins could steal things and take them back to their lairs without anyone seeing them. He also showed me how to find a gremlins lair, but I had to move fast, as soon as the item went missing.

So I ran off down the bottom of the chasm which soon opened up into a rocky valley. I knew what direction I needed to go in hopes of retrieving the wheelchair, but then I saw a large tyrannosaur-like creature prowling nearby - much to near for comfort. So I thought, well, I can live without that wheelchair, and I turned to continue my journey to the lake; a much safer place than this strange valley.

But no sooner did I turn around and I realize that now my scuba-mask and towel were missing too! I was carrying these things on me, and somehow the gremlin took them! These I could NOT live without. So I turned right back around and continued my pursuit of the gremlin in spite of any danger.

The dream continued a bit after that, but the important parts are here. Later today I picked up the book I have been reading about Carl Jung's life (Memories, Dreams, Reflections), and shortly came across this passage:

"These victims of the psychic dichotomy of our times are merely optional neurotics; their apparent morbidity drops away the moment the gulf between the ego and the unconscious is closed."

I realized instantly that the "gulf" Jung spoke of was possible what the chasm in my dream represented. The lake I was trying to get to then would have represented my unconscious mind according to this theory.

I typically read books like this with a pencil (or some other marker) in hand, and I employed my pencil to underline Jung's reference to the "gulf between the ego and the unconscious", and continued reading.

A little later I picked up another book that I'm also reading to help with my meditation (Tulku's, Openness Mind), and shortly ran into this:

"The shadow of fear is always hiding in the gap between our subjective and objective worlds."

Again, I instantly recognized the possible relationship this could have to my dream (assuming that "subjective" refers to the unconscious, and "objective" to the conscious "ego" that Jung spoke of). I thought it was strange that both books I was reading would mention the same concept in the section I read on the same day of this dream. It was a perfect example of what Jung calls "synchronicity" (coincidences that are really coincidences at all).

But Tulku's book went even further. The very next sentence reads:

"We have the fear of losing ourselves, of losing out identity."

Wow" Did I really just read that? I thought about it for a moment and quickly realized that it was explaining the dream yet again, perfectly!

The wheelchair symbolized how I saw myself as a damaged (mentally handicapped), an important part of my self image. In the dream of course I denied any handicap at all, and proved it by getting up and walking. But that fits my "identy" perfectly. I am constantly trying to prove I am not "mentally handicapped", even though I secretly think I am (I rationalize this contradiction by telling myself that my "handicap" is not important as far as others are concerned - in other words, I think I should be the only one who can "see" it).

The scuba mask represents my "adventurer" identity, and the towel stood for my "swimmer" identity (i.e. someone who "swims" in the "unconscious"). I realized after making these connections with my dream that these are three of my most "cherished" identities (or at least, most important to me). And the gremlin stole them! No wonder I wanted them back so bad.

Wow. This has given me much to think about. Is there more to the dream message? Perhaps some indication of the direction I should go? Both books suggest eliminating the gap, but I'm not sure what that means in practical terms. I will certainly be increasing my diligence in meditation and keeping a sharp eye out for any further clues in my dreams or otherwise.

(Note: I've long suspected that dreams hold important clues to lifes mysteries, especially our personal ones. But I'm only just now becoming really convinced!)