I dreamed today (during an evening nap) that I was in a modern execution chamber, strapped to the gurney in a seated position with the needle already in my arm attached to the tubes and apparatus through which the poisons would be administered. I was crying even though I was not truly afraid, just very sad. I knew people could see me even though I could not see them. But none of this was either strange or frightening to me. What was strange is that during this entire dream I was just a little girl of only about twelve years. I remember having straight shoulder length dark blond hair and wondering how the people watching me could possibly not realize the travisty of what they were witnessing (which is why I was crying).
Just before I woke up from this dream I realized that the people watching would only think I was afraid if I cried, because they needed to believe I was afraid for some reason. So I stopped crying and then I woke up, but I wasn't sad anymore.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Another Cognizant Dream
My dreams last night were all over the map. But there was one occurance that seemed significant upon my reflections after waking up.
In the dream I was with a female friend and we had just encountered a grassy knoll that was filled with harmless gardener snakes of all sizes from worm to cobra. The knoll was at the top of a cliff and I ended up at the bottom of the cliff while my friend was still at the top. I saw a large black bumble bee fly up to her and in a panic she jumped. But instead of falling she seemed to be carried by the wind, past me, and then suspend in mid air for a moment. I called to her, „Come this way and I'll catch you!”.
So she did, and I caught her in one hand (she had become no more than a figuring at this time, but she was a lifesize person before). After I caught her I immediately asked if she was unharmed, which she was. Then she exclaimed excitedly, „Did you see me! I flew!”
The significance of this is subtle but important. In the dream, even after she told me she had flown, I thought the wind must have caught her and carried her like an untethered kite. But after I woke and thought about it I realized not only was there no wind blowing in the dream, but the way she moved was clearly according to her own volition. She not only flew, but she demonstrated an act of independent free will and more importantly, cognizance! She expressed clearly her knowledge of the fact that she flew, and she expressed this in a way that implied that she also knew that it is impossible to fly.
In the dream I did not realize the implications at all. As I've already stated, I only thought the wind had caught her and reflected no further upon the incident. That means that I could not have consciously constructed the illusion of her cognizant behavior. She maintained and expressed an independent and complex belief of what had just occured that was in no way hinted at or supported by my own belief. So I assert this as an indication that there is more than one conscious cognizance present in the human mind capable of, and in fact, acting and thinking independently.
Either that, or somehow we are able to interact with other cognizant beings in our dreams, which is also a possibility, but not one I am so ready to tout quite yet. And then perhaps, both scenarios are at play together when we dream and then even unconsciously while we are supposedly wide awake.
In the dream I was with a female friend and we had just encountered a grassy knoll that was filled with harmless gardener snakes of all sizes from worm to cobra. The knoll was at the top of a cliff and I ended up at the bottom of the cliff while my friend was still at the top. I saw a large black bumble bee fly up to her and in a panic she jumped. But instead of falling she seemed to be carried by the wind, past me, and then suspend in mid air for a moment. I called to her, „Come this way and I'll catch you!”.
So she did, and I caught her in one hand (she had become no more than a figuring at this time, but she was a lifesize person before). After I caught her I immediately asked if she was unharmed, which she was. Then she exclaimed excitedly, „Did you see me! I flew!”
The significance of this is subtle but important. In the dream, even after she told me she had flown, I thought the wind must have caught her and carried her like an untethered kite. But after I woke and thought about it I realized not only was there no wind blowing in the dream, but the way she moved was clearly according to her own volition. She not only flew, but she demonstrated an act of independent free will and more importantly, cognizance! She expressed clearly her knowledge of the fact that she flew, and she expressed this in a way that implied that she also knew that it is impossible to fly.
In the dream I did not realize the implications at all. As I've already stated, I only thought the wind had caught her and reflected no further upon the incident. That means that I could not have consciously constructed the illusion of her cognizant behavior. She maintained and expressed an independent and complex belief of what had just occured that was in no way hinted at or supported by my own belief. So I assert this as an indication that there is more than one conscious cognizance present in the human mind capable of, and in fact, acting and thinking independently.
Either that, or somehow we are able to interact with other cognizant beings in our dreams, which is also a possibility, but not one I am so ready to tout quite yet. And then perhaps, both scenarios are at play together when we dream and then even unconsciously while we are supposedly wide awake.
Silent Lucidity
I am convinced more than ever that life is no more than a dream.
Yesterday I kept waking up in different cells. Every „life” is another prison cell. All my life I have felt this confinement, and in one way or another I have struggled against it.
Death is no escape. But I think forgiveness is.
Forgiveness is the end of struggle and the end of the confinement of those condemned by their own choices to reawaken in yet another prison cell (i. e. reincarnation?).
Forgiveness does not condemn, nor does it condone. It does not forget or remember. Forgiveness accepts and loves unconditionally. Forgiveness is absolute faith in the creator and orchistrator of our dreams.
„These dreams go on when I close my eyes...
Every second of the night, I live another life...”
It seems I am not the first to wake up... to forgive. Everywhere I look I see more and more evidence of others who have come to realize and to understand the dream nature of our suffering. But like in the movie „They Live”, the evidence is invisible to those who do not have the means to see for themselves. And, not just invisible, but unbelievable as well.
„Unfortunately, no one can be told what the matrix is.”
Yesterday I kept waking up in different cells. Every „life” is another prison cell. All my life I have felt this confinement, and in one way or another I have struggled against it.
Death is no escape. But I think forgiveness is.
Forgiveness is the end of struggle and the end of the confinement of those condemned by their own choices to reawaken in yet another prison cell (i. e. reincarnation?).
Forgiveness does not condemn, nor does it condone. It does not forget or remember. Forgiveness accepts and loves unconditionally. Forgiveness is absolute faith in the creator and orchistrator of our dreams.
„These dreams go on when I close my eyes...
Every second of the night, I live another life...”
It seems I am not the first to wake up... to forgive. Everywhere I look I see more and more evidence of others who have come to realize and to understand the dream nature of our suffering. But like in the movie „They Live”, the evidence is invisible to those who do not have the means to see for themselves. And, not just invisible, but unbelievable as well.
„Unfortunately, no one can be told what the matrix is.”
Monday, July 5, 2010
I Dream of Genie
I dreamed today (having slept till 5 pm) that I survived some undefined apocalyptic world event (a recurring scenario in my dreams) by hiding and running from the other survivors who had weapons. I had no weapons myself since running and hiding were much more conducive to surviving than trying to fight. Eventually the armed survivors killed themselves off and the passive unarmed survivors prospered.
Since the human population was drastically reduced the survivors tended to cluster together in large homes (i. e. mansions) forming small clans or „families” of unrelated people. The homes were typically well kept inside where the lack of power tools and machinery was not so important, but run down and unkept outside where such tools were needed but not available.
I lived in such a home with some older people whom I considered and respected like my parents, as well as a few young people who were my adopted children. I had no „siblings” (i. e. peers) near to my own age.
In the dream I brought a very beautiful woman, my age, to my home. My children were in bed when we entered the large mansion, so I asked her if she'd like to retire to my study. In the study she asked me to close the curtains, which I knew meant that she expected me to make love to her, which I was certainly eager to do. But, first I introduced her to our family's two small puppies.
We cuddled together with the puppies in our arms on the sofa in the study. I was using the puppies to stall for time before making love because I did not know if my adopted father was home or not, and if he came home he would have to walk through the study to get to his room.
After enough time had passed to satisfy me that my father would not be interupting, and just before we both became too drowsy and lost interest in sex altogether, I told her I had something I wanted to say, then i kissed her gently on the lips. She immediately responded by submitting completely to my advance and the kiss grew on its own into a deep and passionate expression of our mutual love.
Then I woke up , and was happy to know that such passion and love was still very much alive somewhere inside of me. (My dreams never actually progress to full sexual contact so not doing so this time was no great disappointment.) It is dreams like this that help me „hang on”. They give me hope, and tell me that life is so much more than it seems!
Since the human population was drastically reduced the survivors tended to cluster together in large homes (i. e. mansions) forming small clans or „families” of unrelated people. The homes were typically well kept inside where the lack of power tools and machinery was not so important, but run down and unkept outside where such tools were needed but not available.
I lived in such a home with some older people whom I considered and respected like my parents, as well as a few young people who were my adopted children. I had no „siblings” (i. e. peers) near to my own age.
In the dream I brought a very beautiful woman, my age, to my home. My children were in bed when we entered the large mansion, so I asked her if she'd like to retire to my study. In the study she asked me to close the curtains, which I knew meant that she expected me to make love to her, which I was certainly eager to do. But, first I introduced her to our family's two small puppies.
We cuddled together with the puppies in our arms on the sofa in the study. I was using the puppies to stall for time before making love because I did not know if my adopted father was home or not, and if he came home he would have to walk through the study to get to his room.
After enough time had passed to satisfy me that my father would not be interupting, and just before we both became too drowsy and lost interest in sex altogether, I told her I had something I wanted to say, then i kissed her gently on the lips. She immediately responded by submitting completely to my advance and the kiss grew on its own into a deep and passionate expression of our mutual love.
Then I woke up , and was happy to know that such passion and love was still very much alive somewhere inside of me. (My dreams never actually progress to full sexual contact so not doing so this time was no great disappointment.) It is dreams like this that help me „hang on”. They give me hope, and tell me that life is so much more than it seems!
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