I have hesitantly come to believe that in my many past lives I was a warrior who followed the Eastern traditions of conflict resolution (i.e. warfare) to the hilt (literally). And the dream I had this morning is just another example of the sort of dreams that has lead me to such a drastic, possibly even delusional, supposition.
The dream I had began where I was a Westerner (American, most likely) visiting traditional Asian market places, where anything from small children (for sex) to potato soup made with eel larvae (as the key ingredient) was available for a price, dominated and controlled by a Yakuzi type of crime/union syndicate. I was there looking for something to eat on the lamb. It seemed I was an international spy/operative of some sort, gathering information for a mission, and my mission was to start a war between ukazi/union and the "common people" that they dominated and oppressed. To do so I needed to supply weapons of carnage (e.g. grenade launchers, machine guns, and anti-tank rockets, etc. for the right people, who were ready to use them, and sacrifice their lives doing so.
In my dream, it was understood that in this place (world), a faction of war established itself, and its strength, not by demonstrating its willingness to kill - that is seen as an indication of fear, and hence, weakness. Real strength was demonstrated by a faction's willingness to die for what it believed/respected (which is consistent with my waking awareness of ancient Eastern traditions of conflict resolution, as expressed in books such as "The Five Rings", "The Art of War", etc.).
In the dream I found a "hero" to serve my cause (help start the war). She was a young female (barely a teen) prostitute. She showed me where I could get food without drawing attention to myself, but I had to settle for the eel-larvae soup, which was reputed for making people very ick (the larvae became parasitical in the human digestive tract). So I fed, without drawing attention, and then gave the weapons to the girl, who immediately began using them against the yak Uzi guards, and then together we ran, both armed and shooting at anyone who shot at us or otherwise posed a threat, and yelling, "War! War! War!"
After a time, and after much killing on both sides, and after receiving wounds of my own (in particular, I was slashed on the backs of my legs by a samurai sword, we both, the girl and I, got away, and found a place to rest, also without drawing attention.
Then, the next day when we went out to test the level of carnage we had wrought (would it be enough?): all seemed quiet, until suddenly, on a National T.V. channel, a well-known and easily recognized member of the yak Uzi stabbed himself in the hand for all to see. It was an unmistakable declaration of war! We had achieved our objective.
When I woke up, and got up to get a drink of water (in my "handicap" cell, back in the "real world": I was sore and stiff all over, like I'd been working out all day previously (which in a way I had, but mostly just trying to practice walking on my numb and almost useless left leg and foot - it's getting better, though, so that's good).
At the end of the dream I remember entering a type of dojo (or school) and the master sat sagaciously while his students filed past and ultimately took up position, within the dojo to defend it. But instead of preparing to fight, they began stabbing themselves in the hand, effectively maiming themselves. This was some sort of show of strength and determination. When I asked the master, he explained to me, without words (I just "understood" him without speaking) that in the war to come, the ability to kill will be a sign of fear and weakness, but the ability to sacrifice is a show of strength and determination, etc.
[J.D. Nov 4, 2020]
