Dream World

I may have blogged about this idea once before, I don't remember. But the dream I just woke from illustrates the phenomenon too clearly to pass up a chance to document it.
The idea is that the mind somehow has the ability to create and animate distinct complex and individually motivated characters that can act and think for themselves. The following methinks clearly illustrates this:
I dreamed I was at an academic social function. Rather than a greeting line at the entrance there was a gauntlet of distinguished college officials that had to be passed through like a “farewell line”. I had to leave early for some reason and after moving through the farewell line nodding to and shaking hands with the men and women who I did and didn't know, the last professor in the line, who recognized me as one of his better students, asked me if I liked to watch movies as I shook his hand to say good-bye.
I replied that I did like movies, and he then indicated that he had some movies that I might be interested in. My mind at the time was on the reason that I was leaving early (my father, who was also at the function, asked me to come with him because he had something important to show me – I never found out what it was in the dream). So the professor's offer was a mere distraction that I countered politely by telling him I would be interested and I would stop by his office after classes started. Then I moved away from him and toward the exit where my father was waiting outside. As I moved away, by way of further expressing my interest in the professor's movies, I commented, “I hope they have lots of action in them”.
Here's where it becomes clear that the professor was acting and thinking completely independently from me (or rather, the “me” I seemed to be in the dream). He said, “Well, actually, they are more of the information sort of movies”.
I considered this, and realized that the professor had currently assumed that I would be interested in such “movies” (I love documentaries). So I said, “Great! I'll e-mail you!” To which he replied, “Good, just remember that you only have until midnight”.
I at first did not understand what he meant. I thought he was making a personal offer to share some “movies” that he thought I'd find interesting. Then I realized that when he said “midnight”, he was refering to the school's registration deadline, which meant that the “information” movies he was refering to must be part of a new course he was offering that semester, and he was pitching me the class!
He obviously did not know that I was no longer a student (in the dream I somehow still realized that I had abandoned college for my “rampage against society” and would be locked up the rest of my life, even though I was not locked up in the dream – a dream think thing).
This dream interaction demonstrates completely independent and complex, even manipulative, thinking on the part of the professor. He behaved and spoke in ways that indicate an ulterior motive; hense independent will and consciousness!
This raises some important questions. If my mind (presuming that dreams are exclusively the product of an isolated brain) has the ability to represent complex thinking and independent motives in my dreams, then why couldn't that ability be exploited unconsciously while I am awake. And in fact, through mental focusing exercises (i.e. meditation) I have determined that my unconscious mind is in fact made up an entire community of these independently thinking, and independently conscious entities, even while I am fully awake! Though I typically do not become directly aware of them unless I am asleep (or drifting ott to, or on from, sleep).
So my brain not only can and does think on its own regardless of my conscious consent, but it must do so in order to function (for a less phylosophical and more scientific discussion of this phenomenon read the book Society of Mind by Marvin Minsky). And if this is true (and I absolutely believe that it is) then the whole idea of independent free will needs to be reconsidered.
I am made up of independent entities that somehow function together to form “me”. And since that is demonstratably true, then why might not the so-called individuals of human society really be the independent entities that make up the unconscious mind of Gaia (the World)?
This would explain a lot, and gives us a new way of thinking about ourselves as not so independent after all! For example, wouldn't we, as parts of a larger mind, necessarily reflect and ultimately conform to the purposes and experiences of the greater mind? Was the last century nothing more than literally a Gaiaian nightmare? If so, then how can we wake her (Gaia) up? Or will she “wake up” on her own? Or is she already awake?
These are the kinds of questions that I think about all the time. So now you know.

P.S.: I should address one major criticism of my “mind of Society” idea. Someone might think that there is a huge difference between how the “ entities” in our mind interact (biologically) and how people interact in human society (physically). And in fact there is a “huge difference”, but primarily in scale alone, but not methodology. Let me explain:
We know that ultimately our brain is made up of billions of individual cells called neurons. Neurons ultimately communicate with each other not by direct contact, but by chemical signals (neurotransmitters) that are sent and received from one neuron to the next across tiny but distinct spaces that seperate the neurons (synaptic gaps).
And we know that the ability of our neurons to communicate with each other is highly dependent upon the chemical environment of the brain, which directly effects the chemical signalling process.
So our mind, ultimately, is in fact made up of billions of individual neuronic “entities” that somehow form conscious thought (but I would argue, not consciousness itself) and function (i.e. by having sensual experiences) by merely communicating with each other via chemical signals that also depend on the environment in which they are sent.
This is exactly, sans scale, how people communicate as well!The only difference is that the synaptic gaps and environment is extended out into the World.
For example, the neurons in my brain right this moment are interacting indirectly with the neurons of your brain. The added step of having the chemical messages translated to physical signals (in this case light, which is what your neurons are responding to as you read), is no more than an extension of the chemical signalling process in our brains.
So if our neurons can form a “mind” for us through indirect communication within our brain, then why shouldn't our brains be able to somehow form an even greater mind via the extended indirect communication throughout the world? There is no reason why not presently known to science. And if such a Gaia-Mind does exist, we could never interact with her directly... or could we? Or, even, are we already and just don't realize it? Who are “we” anyway? Are “we” Gaia? Why not? No, I mean really think about it; why not?

They're Watching Me

I just woke up from a nap, laying on my right side facing the wall, and I saw very clearly a small light colored spider crawling on the wall. My first thought was, „That explains the itchy bite mark that I found on my thigh the other day.” My second thought was more of an impulse than a thought, and it was to capture it as a pet (I have gotten in the habit of capturing the bugs I find in my cell to watch them for awhile to see if I can tell what they eat. I even caught some larvae that floated up out of the sink drain in my cell recently and kept them for two weeks until they changed into flies before I let them go). But just as I thought about capturing the spider it melded into the wall!
Now I'm totally freaked out. This exact same thing happened to me once before as I woke from a nap in IMSI (Idaho Maximum Security Institution) about three years ago. I was also laying on my right side facing the wall, but the „spider” was a little bigger that time (about one and a half inches, this time it was only one inch) and I remember it had flattened legs like ribbons instead of rounded like a normal spider. This time the legs seemed more normal (rounded), but they were spread out more evenly around the body whereas last time the legs stuck out more concentrated to each side. In both cases the „spider” was light colored (same color as the wall) and in both cases the spider vanished into the wall right before my eyes. Last time I thought maybe it had dropped off the wall when I blinked (even though I did not remember blinking). This time I know I did not blink, it simply vanished less than eighteen inches in front of my face.
I stared at the wall for a moment hoping it would reappear, or at least for the wall to change subtly when I woke up and saw the „real” wall. But the wall did not change at all, every crack bump and detail that I had just seconds ago seen the apparition crawling across remained the same, and now I was very much wide awake!
Maybe the psych doctors whom I have contested for the last several years are right. Maybe there is something wrong with my brain. This could certainly be classified as a hallucination (last time this happened I dismissed it as a very odd dream, but this time that won't be so easy). Or maybe, just maybe, I saw something I wasn't supposed to see!

Execution Dream

I dreamed today (during an evening nap) that I was in a modern execution chamber, strapped to the gurney in a seated position with the needle already in my arm attached to the tubes and apparatus through which the poisons would be administered. I was crying even though I was not truly afraid, just very sad. I knew people could see me even though I could not see them. But none of this was either strange or frightening to me. What was strange is that during this entire dream I was just a little girl of only about twelve years. I remember having straight shoulder length dark blond hair and wondering how the people watching me could possibly not realize the travisty of what they were witnessing (which is why I was crying).
Just before I woke up from this dream I realized that the people watching would only think I was afraid if I cried, because they needed to believe I was afraid for some reason. So I stopped crying and then I woke up, but I wasn't sad anymore.

Another Cognizant Dream

My dreams last night were all over the map. But there was one occurance that seemed significant upon my reflections after waking up.
In the dream I was with a female friend and we had just encountered a grassy knoll that was filled with harmless gardener snakes of all sizes from worm to cobra. The knoll was at the top of a cliff and I ended up at the bottom of the cliff while my friend was still at the top. I saw a large black bumble bee fly up to her and in a panic she jumped. But instead of falling she seemed to be carried by the wind, past me, and then suspend in mid air for a moment. I called to her, „Come this way and I'll catch you!”.
So she did, and I caught her in one hand (she had become no more than a figuring at this time, but she was a lifesize person before). After I caught her I immediately asked if she was unharmed, which she was. Then she exclaimed excitedly, „Did you see me! I flew!”
The significance of this is subtle but important. In the dream, even after she told me she had flown, I thought the wind must have caught her and carried her like an untethered kite. But after I woke and thought about it I realized not only was there no wind blowing in the dream, but the way she moved was clearly according to her own volition. She not only flew, but she demonstrated an act of independent free will and more importantly, cognizance! She expressed clearly her knowledge of the fact that she flew, and she expressed this in a way that implied that she also knew that it is impossible to fly.
In the dream I did not realize the implications at all. As I've already stated, I only thought the wind had caught her and reflected no further upon the incident. That means that I could not have consciously constructed the illusion of her cognizant behavior. She maintained and expressed an independent and complex belief of what had just occured that was in no way hinted at or supported by my own belief. So I assert this as an indication that there is more than one conscious cognizance present in the human mind capable of, and in fact, acting and thinking independently.
Either that, or somehow we are able to interact with other cognizant beings in our dreams, which is also a possibility, but not one I am so ready to tout quite yet. And then perhaps, both scenarios are at play together when we dream and then even unconsciously while we are supposedly wide awake.

Silent Lucidity

I am convinced more than ever that life is no more than a dream.
Yesterday I kept waking up in different cells. Every „life” is another prison cell. All my life I have felt this confinement, and in one way or another I have struggled against it.
Death is no escape. But I think forgiveness is.
Forgiveness is the end of struggle and the end of the confinement of those condemned by their own choices to reawaken in yet another prison cell (i. e. reincarnation?).
Forgiveness does not condemn, nor does it condone. It does not forget or remember. Forgiveness accepts and loves unconditionally. Forgiveness is absolute faith in the creator and orchistrator of our dreams.
„These dreams go on when I close my eyes...
Every second of the night, I live another life...”
It seems I am not the first to wake up... to forgive. Everywhere I look I see more and more evidence of others who have come to realize and to understand the dream nature of our suffering. But like in the movie „They Live”, the evidence is invisible to those who do not have the means to see for themselves. And, not just invisible, but unbelievable as well.
„Unfortunately, no one can be told what the matrix is.”

I Dream of Genie

I dreamed today (having slept till 5 pm) that I survived some undefined apocalyptic world event (a recurring scenario in my dreams) by hiding and running from the other survivors who had weapons. I had no weapons myself since running and hiding were much more conducive to surviving than trying to fight. Eventually the armed survivors killed themselves off and the passive unarmed survivors prospered.
Since the human population was drastically reduced the survivors tended to cluster together in large homes (i. e. mansions) forming small clans or „families” of unrelated people. The homes were typically well kept inside where the lack of power tools and machinery was not so important, but run down and unkept outside where such tools were needed but not available.
I lived in such a home with some older people whom I considered and respected like my parents, as well as a few young people who were my adopted children. I had no „siblings” (i. e. peers) near to my own age.
In the dream I brought a very beautiful woman, my age, to my home. My children were in bed when we entered the large mansion, so I asked her if she'd like to retire to my study. In the study she asked me to close the curtains, which I knew meant that she expected me to make love to her, which I was certainly eager to do. But, first I introduced her to our family's two small puppies.
We cuddled together with the puppies in our arms on the sofa in the study. I was using the puppies to stall for time before making love because I did not know if my adopted father was home or not, and if he came home he would have to walk through the study to get to his room.
After enough time had passed to satisfy me that my father would not be interupting, and just before we both became too drowsy and lost interest in sex altogether, I told her I had something I wanted to say, then i kissed her gently on the lips. She immediately responded by submitting completely to my advance and the kiss grew on its own into a deep and passionate expression of our mutual love.
Then I woke up , and was happy to know that such passion and love was still very much alive somewhere inside of me. (My dreams never actually progress to full sexual contact so not doing so this time was no great disappointment.) It is dreams like this that help me „hang on”. They give me hope, and tell me that life is so much more than it seems!

Realistic Surrealism?

I dreamed last night that I floated down a hallway on a swimpool air mattress until i reached some stairs that lead to a loading dock platform that opened up to a sea where thirty foot waves rose intimidatingly toward the dock but collapsed to just level with the dock before crashing (not breaking) and then slopping over the dock to get me wet but not knocking me down. I watched several of these waves thinking each time that they were about to wipe me out but none did. Then I saw a large boulder the size of a car floating (yes, floating) just below the surface near the dock. The next wave threatened to lift the rock and throw it toward me, so I climbed to a higher platform above the cement dock area. From there I could see the sea beyond the dock better and I also saw the rock suddenly transform into an alien ship that now floated on top of the water rather than just below its surface. I knew this to be impossible and thought I must be dreaming, but it all seemed too real to be a dream. There were a few other people on the higher tier and we saw the aliens from the ships jump into the water in hordes and the waves begin to carry them toward us. We ran back down the hall away from the imminent invasion but a large steel door closed in front of us blocking our way. We managed to pry the door open though, but even though the opening (my escape route) was plenty large enough for me to get through i couldn't manage to do it. I was still trying to get through when I woke up.
The most interesting part of this dream to me is that it was the first time I ever remember a dream in which I realized it must be a dream because of the surrealism, but I did not believe it was a dream despite the evidence because it was too realistic in detail at the same time. Also, I should note that the giant waves are a recurring feature in some of my dreams and I think they symbolize threatening circumstances brought about by life itself that are beyond my control. The rest of the dream was clearly influenced by the movies I've watched recently on T.V.: "War of the worlds" and "Transformers".